Thorgelfaynese Television Listings


John T. Anderson
42 Foliage Lane
Hapdorn 5A03F

14 Seventhmonth 4599

Dear Ken,

I was looking at the television listings the other day, and it occurred to me that your readers might like a copy of it. After all, what do aliens watch on television every night?

These are the listings for prime time, last night.

I got caught up in a telephone conversation with Lanni Hargelstope until nearly 1B:1A, so I was just able to catch “Lado Plays the Skritch” on channel nine. This is the same instrument as the one that began the play we all saw with Melissa and Harshan. The play and the television show made me decide to take lessons. I’ll have to get to a music store and find out how much those things cost; then we’ll see how that works out.

After the concert, I took a thirty-two minute break to bathe my Hugmup, and returned to watch Video Playhouse on Channel 2. “The Raging Sea” was playing. History fascinates me, because all history here is news to me! This movie touches on the discovery of the northern two continents, so I was glued to the tube. Panu insisted on watching the Mathematician’s Review, so I had to switch to my little set in my bedroom. It’s in his field, but it’s over my head.

Anyway, here are the listings for Thirdday, the 13 of Seventhmonth 4599. I left all the numbers in hexadecimal, but it’s up to you to translate the text for your readership!

Yours in thorgel bond,
John Andersondoma.


Key to Selector Numbers

1 (HT1)
Hapdorn Television One
2 (HT2)
Hapdorn Television Two
3 (TEC)
The Educational Channel
4 (BTV)
Barlamon Television
5 (FBN)
Financial and Business News
6
unused
7 (LT2)
Lakeshore City Television Two
8 (INF)
Information Television
9 (MOT)
Music Only Television
A (HAT)
Hapdorn Alternative Television
B (WNN)
World News Network
C (PA1)
Public Affairs One
D (PA2)
Public Affairs Two

1A:00 (Twenty-Six O’Clock)

1 (HT1)
Evening News
2 (HT2)
Evening News
3 (TEC)
Letters and Symbols
Writing skills for children, ages 6 through 8.
4 (BTV)
Evening News
5 (FBN)
Evening Stock Report
7 (LT2)
Evening News
8 (INF)
Hapdorn Airport Tomorrow
Airline schedules; traffic and parking information.
9 (MOT)
Symphonies of Zerpick
This evening’s concert features Natonian works of the Hana period. (repeat)
A (HAT)
The World Today
(Discussion Series)
Tonight’s main topic is the Ustranki trade deficit. Also scheduled: the rising criticism of the university testing system.
B (WNN)
International News In Brief
C (PA1)
Sailing Vessels of Yore
D (PA2)
Homework Helpers

1A:20 (Half Past Twenty-Six)

3 (TEC)
Music Theory for Listeners
Halla Norpik will teach the basics of scales, tonal modes, and chords in three major musical conventions. Illustrations are taken from the classics.

1B:00 (Twenty-Seven O’Clock)

1 (HT1)
Visitors from the Sky (with Minsel Trothe)
Minsel’s guest this evening is a tourist from Horstmingle’s smallest continent.
2 (HT2)
Hargi Norna’s Show (Investigation and Exposé Series)
Hargi takes a penetrating look at the cosmetics industry, with in-depth interviews with manufacturers, fashion models, chain store executives, and consumers.
3 (TEC)
Handicrafts for the Elderly
4 (BTV)
Barlamon Gardens(Comedy Series)
In tonight’s episode, Lako tries to get his ladder back from his absent-minded neighbors.
5 (FBN)
The Real Estate Game
Tips and tricks to buying and selling real estate. Among other topics: improvements as investments, financing alternatives, and real estate legal tips.
7 (LT2)
Thorgelfaynese National Swimming Competition
Broadcast live from the Lakeshore Municipal Natatorium.
8 (INF)
Interstellar Travel Tips
Segments on space travel for planetlubbers; visas and permits; major languages of Chern; how to plan your itinerary.
A (HAT)
Religious Services
Midweek services from Second Worship House of Norda, on Mountain View Drive. Sermon: “Facing Up to Personal Failure.” The Singing Forsas will also be performing.
B (WNN)
The Spiral Arm This Month
Bulletins from Chern, Zerpick and Horstmingle. Feature stories: the joint exploration project, trademark and patent accords, and the artistic exchange.
C (PA1)
The Valley High School Band
D (PA2)
Hapdorn Provincial Council Session (Taped earlier)

1B:20 (Half Past Twenty-Seven)

3 (TEC)
Having Happy, Healthy Hugmups
Bobo Lyman explains common Hugmup diseases and their treatment. Also: tips on bathing Hugmups, easy ways to keep your Hugmup out of the kitchen.
4 (BTV)
The Case of the Headless Hingster (Detective Series)
The famous inspector Golo Maksimak faces another puzzling crime. The only clue: a headless hingster smoot on the doorstep of an aircraft factory.
8 (INF)
Travel Abroad without Pain (Travel Series)
This week’s featured country: Halakan. How to choose museums, sightseeing in the Delta, and how to visit Halakan without learning the language. Also: coping with jet lag.
9 (MOT)
Lado Plays the Skritch
The famous virtuoso from Lari Province once again brings the skritch to life. The concert is broadcast live from the Main Civic Concert Hall in Galdorn. With the Galdorn Philharmonic Orchestra, Biza Marna conducting.
B (WNN)
Update on Humanity (Special Report)
Wars, pestilence, and famine; promising political and scientific developments; the Human concept of ‘enemy’; and trends toward an equitable distribution of technology.

1C:00 (Twenty-Eight O’Clock)

1 (HT1)
The Thirdday Night Movie(Series)
“The Long Trek Home” (Movie, 456A) This epic movie, an ever-popular classic, depicts the heartaches and struggles of a family of five whose tour group left them stranded on the southern icecap. Based on a novel by Larga Forsina.
2 (HT2)
Hugmups and Hangles(Comedy Series)
Hari the Hugmup goes grocery shopping with the usual hilarious results. Tuina Fargnon makes a cameo appearance.
3 (TEC)
Fjarnian for Beginners
Topic: Menus and Restaurants. Grammar lesson: irregular modal verbs, indicative participles.
5 (FBN)
Stock Market Report
8 (INF)
All About Non-Prescription Drugs
Tonight’s show focuses on the little-known interreactions and side-effects of common non-prescription drugs.
A (HAT)
Great Chernian Mysteries (Detective Series)
See why this detective series is a smash hit in C0 countries on three planets! First showing on Thorgelfaynese television. (Subtitled).
B (WNN)
Local News and Views
C (PA1)
Steel Drum Techniques
D (PA2)
Hapdorn City Council Meeting (Taped Highlights)

1C:20 (Half Past Twenty-Eight)

3 (TEC)
Intermediate Fjarnian
Common mistakes made by native speakers of Thorgelfaynese, and how to overcome them.
5 (FBN)
The Interstellar Monetary Situation
9 (MOT)
Contemporary Rhythms
The latest music videos from the other countries of the Westlake region.
C (PA1)
Modeling Ancient Automobiles

1D:00 (Twenty-Nine O’Clock)

2 (HT2)
Video Playhouse (Drama Series)
“The Raging Sea” The 2Ath hexacentury classic play about early seafarers and their struggles to explore the Ocean has been updated for modern viewers.
3 (TEC)
The Mathematician’s Review
Scheduled: a panel discussion about mathematical models of the universe and their application to interstellar travel. The panel consists of experts in the fields of theoretical mathematics, astro-navigation, and spaceship technology.
4 (BTV)
Hapless Hymar(Comedy Series)
Hymar’s at it again! Tonight, Hymar goes on a hunting trip and wanders over the border into Fjarn by mistake.
5 (FBN)
Changing World/Changing Professions
How progress has affected the workplace during the last three hexadecades, with special emphasis on machinery repair technicians and electricians. Opportunities for vocational reeducation are highlighted.
7 (LT2)
The Midweek Movies (Series)
“The Broken Step” (Movie, 4432) The aspirations and triumphs of a young man who is seriously injured in a household accident. The all-star cast includes the legendary Bona Magna. This movie won seven awards at the International Film Fest in Fomin in 4433.
8 (INF)
Renovate That House!
Everything you need to know about hiring a contractor to rewire a house built before the 42nd Hexacentury.
9 (MOT)
Khargian Mountain Songs from the 3Fth Hexacentury
B (WNN)
Despot Hrashkat of Ustrank (Special Report)
A prerecorded interview with Lromink Hrashkat, Despot of the Dictatorship of Ustrank. Topics include the Ustranki trade deficit, recent radio and television accords with neighboring nations, relations with our beloved Duchy, and tourism.
C (PA1)
Barlamon High School Debates
Tonight’s topic: “Thorgelfayne’s International Role; is our current foreign policy truly effective?”
D (PA2)
Council on Eugenics—Meeting Highlights

1D:20 (Half Past Twenty-Nine)

3 (TEC)
Landscape Painting for Fun
8 (INF)
Geographical Oddities
The Chalaka Delta in Halakan, the Northwestern Treeless Plain and the fjords of Ylanfayne.
9 (MOT)
Music from the Double Planet
The hauntingly evocative music of Earth is brought out of obscurity for the first time on national television. Featured are the great Human composers Tschaikowsky, Mahler, Copland, Gerschwin, and Wagner.
D (PA2)
Hapdorn Zoning and Building Commission

1E:00 (Thirty O’Clock)

2 (HT2)
Evening Wrap-Up (News)
3 (TEC)
Mammals of the Northern Hemisphere
Because of their long isolation from Homeland’s major landmasses, both northern continents have rare and beautiful species found nowhere else in the world. Tonight: The Singers at Dusk.
4 (BTV)
Tonight’s Wrap-Up
5 (FBN)
Farmer’s Almanac
8 (INF)
Global Weather
A (HAT)
Skills and Thrills (Game Show)
Contestants face intellectual and physical challenges in this popular game show hosted by Eljikorn Laptin.
B (WNN)
Late Night Review
C (PA1)
Sign Off.
D (PA2)
Vegetable Growers In Crisis

1E:20 (Half Past Thirty)

1 (HT1)
Evening Bulletin (News)
2 (HT2)
The Late Show
Musical variety and interviews with stars of stage and screen.
3 (TEC)
The Philosophic Round Table(Discussion Series)
Tonight’s topic: How we discovered the meaning of life. Viewers are promised a behind-the-scenes account of the symposium which concluded the International Hexadecade on the Meaning of Life. Evidences for and against the Meaning, which have since accumulated, will also be debated.
7 (LT2)
Nighttime Headlines
9 (MOT)
Hapdorn Heartbeat (Talk Show Series)
Tonight’s guests represent the harng industry, recently accused of price-gouging.
D (PA2)
Sign Off.